"Let's face it. Even the NFL's Stupid Bowl is more exciting than watching a bunch of potbellied prima donnas prance around out there picking up trillion dollars a year for pinch-hitting a couple of times a week.I say it's about time we got a new national pastime anyway. Roller Derby would be better than baseball, for crying out loud. Hell, even bowling's more exciting for that matter.Baseball is basically an idiot game, 'cause nothing ever happens out there. Sometimes the 7th-inning stretch is the highlight of the afternoon."
"And the latest scandal to rock baseball hasn't even hit the papers yet.A secret memo to Baseball Commissioner Joe Garagiola is about to cause the biggest uproar since the Chicago Black Sox threw the World Series back in 1919.Since 1978 - that's 18 years for all you gals out there - baseballs have been 'hopped up' by pumping a small amount of helium into them under super-high pressure."
"Let's face the music, sports fans. Baseball is dull. TV killed baseball and Joe Garagiola is the unmasked executioner. This yokel could make the seventh game of the World Seris a sleepwalk, and does....Joshin' Joe is back with the NBC Game of the Week this year, I'm sad to report. That means all his lousy, stinking cornball attempts at jokes will be back, too. Baseball's gasping for breath and Joe's the final nail in the coffin."
"That means each division will hold a five-game playoff just to see who gets to play in the regular playoffs. At this rate, the World Series will start in December and Santa Claus will throw out the first pitch....Baseball fans at home will tune into an endless stream of macho beer and razor blade commercials. And when we're not getting tons of hard-sell, we'll get tons of Joe Garagiola's crummy jokes."
"[Spokeswoman Jane Fairuza of Citizens United Against Lethal Weapons] said her organization decided to concentrate on baseball bats after the anit-gun movement was blamed for costing Democratic presidential nominee Al Gore the election....So the anti-gun group switched gears and is going after baseball bats, which Ms. Fairuza says are used in hundreds of savage assaults and murders ever year.'Baseball is a violent game and should be replaced as the national pastime with a more civilized sport such as synchronized swimming or ice skating,' she declared."
"'What's a batter supposed to do - swat at a 92 mph fastball with his fist?' a retired major leaguer asked in a fan newsletter, Swat King.'Even the looniest player would have to be seriously coked out to do something like that. And if he ever connected, it would cost him his career.' "
"SAN JOSE, Costa Rica - Baseball player Robert Rice has a .276 batting average and pitches with the best of 'em - even though he was born blind!'I don't see the ball but I hear it and feel it in my bones,' said Rice, 35. 'I've been playing since I was a kind and it's the most natural thing in the world to me.'...'We call him [The Bat] because he's blind as a bat,' said Carlos Rodriguez, who also pitches for the team.'Sometimes I get goose bumps just watching him on the mound. You may not believe it, but the guy has thrown two no-hitters and hit five home runs. A designated player runs the bases for him. Other than that, he's on his own.' "
"And today the thousands of fanatics who play vintage baseball are as meticulous about authenticity as their counterparts who reenact Civil War battles.They're historians as well as players, reports Smithsonian Magazine. 'They re-create the uniforms, equipment (or lack thereof), the homemade balls, even the language of more than 100 years ago.'Batters were called 'strikers', pitchers were 'hurlers'. Fans were 'cranks' - and the umpires would sometimes consult with a crank before making a call. Those were the days when the game was played for fun - not blood or money."